


In which a confused young man buys a car and drives around in it, hoping to find himself but instead finding interesting people and incidentally helping them find eachother

by roadrunner



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BroJohn - Freeform, EriSol - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hammertime - Freeform, Homestuck - Freeform, How Do I Tag, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pepsicola, Windicuffs, cronkri - Freeform, davejohn - Freeform, davekat - Freeform, i'm done, john doesn't know what to do so he buys a car, johndave - Freeform, johnkat - Freeform, lots of gay, mitula - Freeform, no details though, no seriously tons of it, possibly adding more characters later, religious!john, too lazy to add all the ships, very long plot, what even
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:32:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roadrunner/pseuds/roadrunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John bought a car, no one was surprised. I mean, do I even have to tell you why? What kind of nineteen year old catholic boy doesn't want a shiny new ride to impress the ladies? Not this kind, for sure.<br/>The teen had been saving up for a while to spend all his money on a beat up Volkswagen, save a little put to the side for gas money. His father wondered why John would take any interest in some old van, but never questioned the boy. He was growing into a fine young man and could most definitely start to make his own decisions .<br/>What no one expected -not even John- was for the new driver to pack a small back of clothes and a sleeping bag into the back of his van, announcing to friends and family that he was going off on an adventure.<br/>When anyone would ask John, "Why?" he would simply reply with "Why not?" followed by a reassuring grin.<br/>"But you'll miss Mass. What about school? College? Don't you have a girlfriend? What about a job?!" Each question was always silenced by the same answer. "Why not? These are all things I can leave behind, can't I?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This is the intro, John begins his journey at the end of this chapter and the start of the next!

Emptiness?  
No.  
Loneliness?  
Not really, no.  
The need to be somewhere new and exciting?  
I don't think so.

If not any of these, then what drove straight A student John Egbert to pack his cheapest clothes in an old suitcase and toss it into his van along side a worn sleeping bag?  
Well, some were saying that it was evil. The work of the Devil himself driving this young man off his straight and narrow path and onto a crooked one, filled with twists and turns and diving hills filled with desires to drop everything sensible and run off to live the life of a hippie. That was bullshit, of course. In reality, John was just taking a different direction in life. When he attended confession, he vented to his priest about the bubbling need to find something. To find someone. To find...well, himself. John had been feeling lost and for the first time in his entire nineteen years of age, Father Scratch was not able to guide him back to the safer path of strict Catholicism and a promising career in baking and other culinary arts.  
So, this time John decided to take matters into his own hands. He had pulled all of his money from his bank account, telling his father that he was going to buy a car. He wasn't lying, oh no. John could never bring himself to lie to anyone, let alone his dear old trusting dad. Maybe withhold a bit of information, but that's not lying right?  
When John came back with the beat up van, he flashed his rather worried looking dad a bucktoothed grin and said not to worry, he knew what he was doing.  
The next week John was finally ready. He had his clothes and sleeping bag ready within a day but convincing people to let him leave was a whole other deal. While you may be thinking 'Well John is nineteen so he's legally allowed to leave, right?' you may not be totally wrong there but John had known the people of that little suburban community his entire life, they were practically his family. But, family is best appreciated at a distance, right? And that's why John assured all of them that he would be fine, he was a good kid. A young man actually. A young man who could take care of himself and make his own decisions.   
Finally, they quieted down and backed away from the boy. All figuratively but some also quite literally. As the whole town could not stop for they day to see him off, only a few people came the day John left. They gathered in his driveway and all received a hug and a kiss on the cheek -or a firm and warm handshake if you were a man- from John before he started up his van and drove away from his childhood home. His father, always fond of baking, had gone against John's wishes of no gifts and had forced a box of homemade cookies upon the young man. The smell of these cookies filled the van and constantly reminded John of what was to come, and what already had come. It reminded him of a home that wasn't really his home anymore.


	2. NOT ACTUALLY AN UPDATE WOW I'M SORRY

holy shit, wow. okay.  
i did not actually expect people to read this.  
i am flabbergasted.

all the wonderful comments and hits have been great, but i just transferred from homeschooling to public schooling and i've been hella busy.  
plus the fact that since i never expected for this fic to get any attention, it's unedited and kind of terrible. i never really had plan as to what i was doing with it, so chapters are taking much longer than i would hope.

i should have the official second addition to the work out by (at the most) the end of this month, thank you guys so much!!


	3. doot doot (soRRY OMG IM SO SORRY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SO SORRY IVE BEEN MEANING TO UPDATE THIS CHAPTETR AND IT DELETED IT AND I JUST  
> AAAUUAUAUAUAUAUGHJ,FSDL

ok so i had this rlly long chapter that i was editing and stuff but i didnt save it so it deleted when my laptop restarted and so i cried a lot and then i got grounded so i havent had the time to update this im so sorry i just  
ill be on more often so yeah ill try to update i swear


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John meets waiters with acne problems and also rusty spoons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA FRICKIN SUCK IT I FINALLY UPDATED OH YEAH

Headlights flashed into a dimly lit diner, before flickering off, followed by the click-slam of a certain young man's van door. 

John had given up on his attempt to not eat meat after only two days and was practically running into the diner, causing the two waiters sitting up on the counter to look up, then looking at eachother as if to say,  _"You go! No, you."_  This continued on for a while before the blonde one hopped down from the counter, forcing a smile onto his acne ridden face.

"Welcome to Ampora's diner, I'll  be your server this evening. Can I get you something to drink?" The blonde boy drone out the words, as if he were an animitronic repeating it's programmed phrase for the millionth time. The idea creeped John out, so he focused on the menu instead.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. I'll get a diet Dr Pepper please?" The blonde waiter, who's name tag read, 'Sollux C.'  simply quireked his eyebrows at John, walking off briskly back to the counter with the other boy.

John took this time to look around the empty diner, at the torn seats and the stained ceiling. With further investigation, he realized that he wasn't actually the only customer in here. In the corner booth, away from the windows, there was a bitter looking man reading a newspaper and sipping suspiciously on coffee in which John had seen him pour the entire contents of a silver flask that he had pulled from his black overcoat. The man looked up at him, a white scar dragging painfully across the man's eye, which was glaring violently at John as if to say, ' _If you don't look away right now I will find you and I will stab you multiple times with a rusty spoon.'_ With that, John looked away quickly.

Just in time, apparently, as the waiter had just come back with his drink, droning on once again about ordering and sides and such. After John had ordered, the blonde teen ripped the note off of the note pad and walked away again, sticking it over the counter that led over to the kitchen. He returned to the brunette waiter, whispering something inaudible in his ear, a mischievous look on his face. John realized that they had been glancing at him the entire time, his face heating up even with the cool air being blown from the vent right above him. 

What were they up to?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shimmies around  
> feedback is amazing woah   
> also if you have a specific character/characters in the tags thatyou'd like me to introduce next just comment because I'm not really sure who to put in after I'm done with Dong and Lisp here.

_What were they up to?_

 

As if they had heard him thinking and decided that what they were talking about was too secret to share with him, they turned away. Although he couldn't see their faces, through their body language John could tell that they were having a small argument. The lispy blonde one seemed to have won when the brunette with the 2011 emo-hipster haircut stormed off towards the kitchen. 

He quickly came back, holding a piece of paper out to the blonde one, who laughed and shook his head, looking back over to John who was smart enough to now be discreetly watching them in the reflection on the window. 

Soon enough, the blonde waiter left and came back with a tray of food, walking over to place it on John's table, not saying anything this time. John studied the tray for a bit. Aside from the appetizing food, a piece of paper was tucked neatly underneath his plate. Seemingly, the same paper that was handed to the blonde waiter by the brunette waiter. John considered opening it, but the food looked almost too good to be true. The paper could wait a couple of minutes while he violently wolfed down his burger and extra large order of fries.

As soon as he was done, John took the paper from underneath his plate, checking the reflection for the waiters. Finding that they were gone from their previous perch, John opened the paper up, to find a number scribbled messily in the middle of the paper. Underneath it, an adress. Both presumably belonging to the brunette waiter. John coughed awkwardly and shoved the paper into his pocket. Not really knowing how to react to the forward approach.

A couple of minutes later, the blonde waiter, Sollux, returned. He took away John's tray and accepted the money for the meal. John caught him taking a quick glance around the tray, smirking when he didn't find the paper on it, or around the table anywhere. John's face heated up again, thinking that the blonde waiter must have thought he was a hookup of some sorts. But that wasn't right! John only took the paper out of politeness, he didn't even know if he was going to call or not. He couldn't, he wouldn't, but at the same time...

He wanted to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> speak now r forver hold ur bees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy summer everyone!! I hope your (school)year went well, in celebration of my favorite season, I'll be doing requested one-shots!! Drop some ships down in the comments and we'll talk!! (I'll quite literally write anything, don't be shy <3 )

John walked hastily back to his van, the piece of paper with -- presumably  -- the waiter's number on it crumpled up in his hand.

 

_A number? From a stranger? What the heck am I supposed to do with this, just call it? Is there protocol?? What do I even say??_

 

John's thoughts were panicked and jumbled as he drove away to the nearest payphone, digging quarters out of his pocket and keeping them in his hand with the paper. Jeeze. his palm really was getting sweaty. He wondered why for a moment, until he realized that he was sitting in a hot van with the windows rolled up and no AC, in the summertime. 

 

_It may be the late afternoon, but it's still about as hot as that waiter-, wait a sec- no, no. I didn't just think that!! Fuck-!!_

 

John's face lit up a bright red as he swung his door open, rushing to get out of the heat of the van, as if that would help at all. It did not.

What it did do, on the other hand, is place him right smack in front of a payphone with the number of a reasonably attractive man and enough quarters for a three minute call.

John squinted and walked up to the payphone, slowly, as if it would suddenly grow a mouth and teeth and bite him. He let out an inaudible chuckle to himself.

 

_All this heat must have fried your brain, huh?_

 

He thought as he fed the phone coins, dialing up the number. He began to feel pterodactyls aggressively fly around his stomach along to the monotone ring of the phone, it took a while, but he finally heard a voice on the other line. Surprisingly, it was a woman's. John didn't think this made the situation any better.

 

"This is Domino's pizza, how may I help you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i do this im dead


	7. Not actually a chapter

Heyo! So I wanted to give a little insight for why, and when this hiatus is gonna be done. My grammar is shit, do your best, I guess.

 

So, a little while ago I had to deal with the fact that we had to put my dog down, and of course I'm still messed up over it as he was my best friend and this was only a few days ago. I haven't had the motivation to write anything, even though a little while before this when I was just procrastinating, I promised myself I would. 

 

Furthermore, starting Monday I'll be going to a two week medical camp at a local college for young students looking into medical careers. It's from 8 in the morning to here in the afternoo, and no cellphones are allowed in between that time. You can see why I won't be posting much until that time is over.

So, for about two weeks and then whatever time it takes me to write, edit, furiously delete, write again, edit again, and then publish a piece of ship garbage that can barely even be qualified as a chapter, there won't be much more of the fic.

 

Thanks!   
\- Oliver

**Author's Note:**

> This was kind of really short, I'll get started on the next one ASAP


End file.
